This isn’t a guide... it’s more of a disaster manual. If you're here thinking, ‘Wait, do I really need new tricks to cheat on my partner?’ – you're probably already too good at it. Or you suck so bad you need professional help. Either way, this is your night.

Marriage is like communism, right? It sounds like a great idea at first, but after a few years, everyone’s just standing in line, waiting for something that’s never gonna happen. Sex, probably. And love? Love is just your brain pulling a prank on you for like... ten years straight. That’s science. I think.

And before you ask, yes – this show is gonna cover everything: sex, love, therapy, cheating, divorce – the whole relationship buffet. Think of it like free therapy, but worse advice. I want at least one couple to break up tonight. Not even joking. If I see you arguing on the way out, I’ll give you a sticker or something.

Look, life is messy, relationships are worse, and you’ve got two options: cry about it in therapy or laugh about it here. I prefer you laugh here because therapists charge way more than I do, and they don't even sell beer.

So whether you’re single, married, divorced, in a situationship, or just here for some dark laughs to feel better about your own trainwreck – you’re welcome. And if I ask you weird questions tonight, don’t worry – you can just tell me to f*** off. That’s the love language of this show.

Now buckle up, and let's get into this disaster we call romance. Who knows, by the end of the night, you might leave inspired. Or alone. Either way, you'll laugh. Hopefully.

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